Thursday, November 21, 2013

oh elusive sleep...

my son will be 17 months old in 5 days. He has never, not even once, slept all night. We have tried EVERYTHING.... i think my body hates me now. i never appreciated sleep until now. i never realized how important it really is... i'm tired all the time, have very little energy thoughout the day, i cant remember the simplest things (like how to spell simplest- seriously that was a task) it's just been rough, lately especially. i'm gaining weight, i'm not getting the house chores done, i dont feel like playing with the kids. i try to remain in good spirits about it.... i know my little man gets bigger every single day and i will miss his sweet love and cuddles, but i feel like i am getting really close to my breaking point. i dont mean to complain really, i'm just saying that if you see me and i look like a zombie dont be alarmed... i wont eat you...

it's shortly after 8 am and i have a mile long grocery list to tackle at the store with a child who kept me up all night... this should be fun!

some people ask me why we dont just let him cry... i know some people do that and they are ok with it, but i am not one of those people. i believe that babies cry for a reason. Even if that reason is simply protesting change. when our kids cry they are communicating to us in the only way they are able. i cannot ignore this. Especially at night because when he wakes up i know exactly what he wants- mama snuggles. sweet mama snuggles is all my boy wants, and  while it's so sweet it's exhausting.

Last night i tried... i tried to keep him in his bed, go to him an reassure him without picking him up, telling him its ok. ya know, the Dr. Sears method... or whoever's method it is. OH MY GAWWWWDDDD i mean maybe owen is just more stubborn than some kids but this child never settled, never even semi fell asleep. it was only crying, screaming, jumping up and down. trowing the stuffed animals etc. several times, one time for well over an hour. How to people stay consistent with that?? i dont get it.

i say all of that to say this....

my kid wont sleep
it sucks
i'm tired

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